Saturday, July 28, 2012

He is Home!! Life is all about having a good time.


     Braydon made it home safe and sound and FULL of stories!!  There are a few I'm going to share with everyone!!   The first story I heard was about Braydon's camp counselor dropping the F bomb!!LOL!!  Of course that was the first story to hear!!   He said he dropped something dropped the F Bomb and then started panicking saying I meant to say oh freak!!  Too funny!!!!  Here is the F bomb dropping counselor and Braydon!!

Braydon has no clue what his name is.....which is Classic Braydon!!!

      Now his friend Ben!!  When i was tearing up and Braydon was tearing up as I left him there the little boy to walk over to him and introduce himself was Ben.  Ben and B were fast friends and Braydon has checked his email several times since being home to see if he has heard from Ben.  Hopefully he gets an email.  This was Ben's second year!  He was able to show Braydon the ropes and Ben will never know how much I appreciate it.  I got to meet Ben's mom at pickup and tell her how special her son truly is!!
Braydon and Ben Camp Carpe Diem 2012

      He loved the Paddle boats, fishing, climbing the rock wall and I was told he was a hell of a shot in Archery.  He brought home a small picture of a bear and it had a hole right through the heart.  Three different counselors stopped me to tell me he was a natural shot, guess he gets that from his dad!!  I heard about counselor names "pretty Girl", "Skittles", and a boy named Christmas.  He had the time of his life!!

      We also got suggested to a company in Atlanta that trains service dogs to include seizure dogs.  Braydon met Buttons a seizure service dog and apparently they hit it off.  We are in the process of filling out the paperwork but the process to get a service dog takes years.  So who know maybe one day we will have our own "buttons". 

Claudia and Buttons

     Everything went amazing and shockingly I cannot wait until next year either!!  Now I know he loves it and is having fun and the stress of him being miserable is gone!!  Be on the look out for more pictures!!  Braydon had two disposable cameras at camp and we are getting the developed today!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Day 2: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

     Doing a great job of staying busy!!  Only a few more days until I can pick him up!!  My thoughts are constantly filled with questions of his day!!  What is he doing?  Is he crying?  Is he happy?

     On the plus side Ive decided I want a new tattoo.  All my current tattoos have a meaning.

    1st Tattoo- I have a heart with wings on my upper right back shoulder.  I got it a few months after deciding to leave my dad to be with Shawn.  Dad wanted me to move to FL and I refused to go!!  I did not want to leave my family especially Shawn!!

    2nd Tattoo- A Charm anklet around my left ankle.  The charm that dangles is the kids initials.  It needs some work, it was not the best one Ive ever gotten!!  However I did it for my babies!!

     3rd Tattoo-  A Large Dragonfly on my top right foot.  My mother in law wanted all the women in Shawn's family to have it, sisters, wives, daughters!!  I was so proud the day the pattern was given to me!!

     4th Tattoo- The Chinese symbol for eternity.  Shawn has the symbol for life on his back......and wanted our lives to be eternity!!  It is on my left foot. 

     The past few months of my life have been a roller coaster!!  I wants something to remind me every time I look at it that all this craziness is for a bigger cause!!  I know that Epilepsy was placed in our life for a reason!!  Just not sure what that reason is yet!!   Here is a pic of what I want......

I do not want the letters, it would just be the butterfly in purple.  What are your thoughts??  Do you like it?? 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 1: Tears are words that need to be written.

     Things went better than I expected yesterday!  Don't get me wrong, I cried yesterday.....several times!!  However it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be!!

     After checking out of the hotel we went to Lego Land.....that of course was a must!!  AT lego land I realize I don't have his meds and we have to go all the way back to the hotel to pick up his meds and then back to camp.   Bless him, he was one of the last to arrive!!  It was my fault, but we weren't late, you had between 3 & 4 to drop off, we were just closer to 4!!  Here is a picture of him and I at Lego Land!!

He looks thrilled huh!!

   So once we got to camp the craziness began!!  It seemed like we were only there a minute before we had to leave him however it was more like an hour.  We had to register him, go through a medical inspection (which included a lice check, which was both comforting and disturbing at the same time), speak with the nurses about medication dispensing, and finally speak with the Epilepsy Foundation of Georgia about picture and video rights. 
                                           Here is Braydon during registration!!   He has the "deer in a head light" look.

Then we were introduced to a handsome young camp counselor who whisked us away to Braydon's home away from home for the next week!!  I was tearing up at this point and starting to lose it!!  When I was telling him my good bye's the tears started to come and my sweet boy tried so hard to be so very tough.  His tears started too.  A little boy behind me saw Braydon losing it and ran to him and introduced himself.  Whoever that little boys mom is should be very very proud of the young man she is raising.  That little boy tried to save Braydon from being sad!!  Here is a picture of Braydon's cabin door!!  YAY!!! 

My baby is no longer a baby and hopefully making memories he will never forget!!  He is an amazingly brave little boy and I think I will forever be in awe!!  I feel like this is the best thing for him and that he will walk away counting down the days until next years camp!! 

    I wonder what he is doing?  I wonder if he is having fun?  I wonder most of all if he misses me as much as I miss him?  I really really hope he does not miss me.....I hope he is having the time of his life......but it would be nice to think he misses me a little ;)

Friday, July 20, 2012

There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it

Well Yesterday kicked off my marathon weekend of craziness which will ultimately end at 3pm Sunday dropping Braydon off at camp.

     Yesterday we spent all day at Venture River with Braydon, Claudia and 12 of my favorite LCSH kids!!  My two best friends were there and we had a BLAST!!  For the record I was technically "at work" but in my defense I learned a long time ago at LCSH you have to work hard to play hard and we work very hard!!

     Today after work we are jetting off to Atlanta.  Not jetting per say, driving is more like it!!  We have a hotel perfectly centered in between Atlanta and Camp Twin-a-lakes!! YAY!!!  We have plans to go to the Atlanta Aquarium, the World of Coke and then Lego Land.  Unfortunately Claudia has decided not to go with us.  She said she would prefer to stay and do her weapons class in karate and I admire my kids for sticking to their obligations. 

     Then on Sunday we do it.....we drop Braydon off for a full 5 nights at Camp Carpe Diem.  If you could see the excitement in his little brown eyes!! We packed the final three items last night and it was like he had hit the jackpot!!  He was so super excited!!

      I have decided to blog everyday that he is going!!  Kinda to help me though it!!  Thanks again everyone!!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

     Today is a good day!  Today I feel hopeful, today I feel promising, today I feel as though we can whoop epilepsy in the butt!!  Today is a good day.

     We drop Braydon off for camp a week from today.  I'm so very excited to have him start a new memory!!  I love making memories with the kids and this seems like the perfect chance at him making his own memories.  I'm so very excited to pick him up and hear ALL his stories.  I'm having a very hard time, I'm just not ready for this.  It is not about me, it is about him and he is ready.    Here are some picture from last years camp!!  Notice the picture about the brain.  I'm really really hoping he walks away with a Little more understanding of Epilepsy. 
      There is a bike race in Nashville on September 8th and think we are going to do it!!  I think this will be another great way to raise awareness and be a part of the the millions of people who struggle physically and emotionally with epilepsy!! 

     For More information on Epilepsy click on this link

Be on the look out for the Fowlers.....we will make a difference.....just you wait and see!!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat

     Well I am officially defeated.  I went into all of this trying my best to keep a positive attitude and trusting that epilepsy would not define who Braydon is and wants to be and I am officially defeated. 

     I am not naive and I knew deep down that I would have days, weeks, heck even months like this however I really thought I had it all under control.  I cannot get a Dr. Appt with his Dr.  It is stressing me out to the max.  I need to look in someones eyes and explain the emotional toll that this has taken on the entire family, I need someone to recognize my pain, someone to recognize that Braydon is in pain.  I need someone to bring Shawns worries and concerns to the surface so that he quits sugar coating everything in our lives right now. 

     Our June 15th appt was cancelled due to the Dr. having an emergency.  I have yet to hear back for a make up date and everyone I talk to tells me more likely than not it will be December before we see him.  I will lose my mind before then.  I am sure at the office I have been flagged the crazy mom and for once i don't care.  I call ALL the time and it gets me no where.  I either have nice people tell me they will call me back and never do or rude people who tell me I'm not going to get what i want. 

      Will these feelings and frustrations pass.....OF COURSE
       Will I get to feeling better soon........Of COURSE
       Will Braydon ever be the same........I don't know and that is what scares me..........

     SO today I am going Bowling with Braydons class and i will forget about all the craziness that is Epilepsy for the day and remember that all things will pass given the right amount of time and courage.

     On a side note it was 9 years ago today that my daddy passed I am sure that is playing a part in my emotional mess today!! 

    Also to all my readers out there I have started reading a new Book Ryan P Means Rockin int he free world!   I recommend it to ALL people and here is a short video about the book.  FYI it WILL make you cry!!!video   Enjoy!!