Saturday, July 27, 2013

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware

      These past few months have been ROUGH!!  Braydon has had a TON of seizure activity and to be honest my emotions are not in check.  Between the two of us I feel for ALL those around us!!

     So what to do about it is the question.  How do you fix the impossible, can epilepsy be cured?  Why of course not but it can be managed.  Can my chemical imbalances causes my emotions to be hot to cold in 10 seconds or less be cured??  Why of course not but they can be managed!!  My number one concern is B.  So I have done some research......shocker!!

     I was honored to attend a weekend even at St. Jude Children's research hospital in Memphis TN for the work that LCSH does with them.  Man, what an amazing EYE opening experience!!

Here are just a few things that I saw!!

Truly an amazing journey!!  It was so inspirational. 
Everything happens for a reason and so did this trip.  It opened my eyes to many things, including my own son asking my why I spend so much time and effort on kids that I don't know and not on him.  Yes that was HEART wrenching but I needed to hear it.  Trust Braydon is no may in need of me, he is so independent it is unreal, however he is right.  I'm fighting for cures for them but not fighting for his. 
      St. Jude fundraising is where my heart is and I WILL NOT give it up, however what can I do to help Braydon more.  In Memphis right next to St. Jude was Le Bonheur children's hospital!!  I was so confused as to why two hospitals were so close together.  Well as I learned more about St. Jude I figured out why.  After I get home I start researching this hospital.  It is the one that will help Braydon, I just know it!!
       It has a state of the art EEG imaging unit and they were voted 2013-2014 pediatric neurology Department of the year!!  So I called, I emailed, and I called again until I finally got some one who could help me!!
        Braydon has his first appointment in Memphis for a consultation to get into the Neurology department at Le Bonhuer!!  We go September 27!!  This has greatly changed my emotions!!   I still need to get me figured out but this has really really helped!! 
    Go check out what I hope will be Braydon's saving grace and will help him get these seizures under control!!
Meet his (cross your fingers) new Doctor
Wish us luck on this next journey!!

Friday, July 5, 2013

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.

    I write an awful lot about my kids on here and today I am writing about me.  So here goes.

     Last year I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder.  There is a spectrum of Bipolar disorder and I fall on the lower end, however I have been diagnosed.  I was diagnosed by a therapist who was unable to medicate me properly so he handed me over to someone who could.  

    I have been taking two medications everyday to balance me out.  The "Dr" who was treating me has never spent more than 5 minutes with me and never really spent the time or cared to take the time to talk to me.  Roughly 2 weeks ago I abruptly stopped taking my meds and went through horrible withdrawals.  I was shaky, tired, sweaty, nauseous, and the list goes on.  Just sucked in general!! 

     I am over the withdrawals but now I must figure out what step is next.  I without a doubt need something to balance me, that is not the question.  But what I do need to figure out is what doctor will be right for me, what medications, and what is best for me.  Shawn is trying so hard to be patient but to be honest, he tends to make things harder without knowing.  God love him he constantly picks the worst possible times to talk about things. 

    My fears are I have passed this horrible thing onto my children.  I see my tendencies in both of them and scares me so bad!!  I pray everyday they will NEVER be like me.  I hope those prayers are heard over all the other ones I have dished out over the past year.

    I am the luckiest person in the world in my support system.  No one judges me, or questions me.  They all listen and only give an opinion when asked.  Today I am finding a new doctor who can properly take care of me.  I am really hoping I can get in sooner rather than later. 

    Anyways to those of you who had no clue.......SURPRISE

    To those that have helped.......Thanks!!!