If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

This is me as of April 2012!!  If anything I have gained weight since this picture!!  Over the past few weeks I have had a few health issues that indirectly all go back to my weight.  Some genetics, some just bad luck but at the end of the day if I watched what I ate then I would be healthier. 

     Don't get me wrong I am very happy with me.  I love a lot about myself (not to sound like an ass) but I love love love my hair, my boobs are pretty awesome and I have beautiful eyes.  But I want to be a healthier me.  I want to be able to run miles.  I want to be able to not worry whether or not I can "fit" in certain things. 

    I am a lover of life, I love to grab life by the horns and run with it like my shoes are on fire.  But my weight has hindered this for me.  Today start a better me, today starts the healthy me!!  I want to weigh what I did pre children which to be honest is A LOT of weight to shed.  However I can do it!!  I know I can.

     So today I change the unhealthy me which makes me change my habits and my attitude!!  What are you going to change?  What do you not like that you could also change??

We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life. It’s up to us to make it good or bad.

Well........

          We are coming up on that year mark of the day that will forever change my life.  March 11th 2013 will mark one year since the start of Braydons Tonic Clonic seizures and a few days after that his diagnosis of Epilepsy. 

     Over the year I have learned a few things about Braydon, myself, my family and my friends.  Today I want to share those!!

         I learned that Braydon is TOUGH with no doubt.  I learned that he is an amazing child.  He is not letting this bet him.  All though he gets very depressed at times, he is shining like a bright bright star.  His schooling has actually improved over the year and he has done better.  He is my boy wonder.....he is my amazing little man. 

     I learned that I need to be better about taking care of me.  I had to start some medications to "balance" myself out and to be honest I never realized how bad I needed them until I realized the sane person I could be while taking them!!LOL!!   I learned I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be and I feel as though I am a better person.  I also have learned that the stress, anxiety, and poor life style I have been living is without a doubt affecting my health and I will be a healthier person by this time next year!

     My Family-  they are ALWAYS there for me and make me laugh and smile when I need it.  Claudia and Shawn have dealt with a lot this year as well and I thank them for being patient with me.  I think sometimes that they are the two sane ones in the loony bin!!  :)  My mom, sisters, in laws, and work(who by the way are family as well) have stood by and let me cry when I needed, let me vent when I needed and have told me when I'm being unreasonable and or crazy!!

    My friends-  I learned this year about true friendship and I will tell you it is the BEST feeling in the world!!  To know that I have people who will catch me when I fall, and have caught me several times over the year is the best feeling in the world.  To know that someone loves you cause they want to and not because they have to is amazing.  I love you guys very much!!

      So what Have I really learned this year????

     To live the life that I want.  To not worry about what others think or what others will do.  To love with ALL of my might and to learn to sit back and enjoy it.  I will make my life and the life of those I love the best I can!! 

The end of the roughest year of my life.....hello 2013

Oh you know me, I'm the life of the party

Beautiful people surround me

Everybody falling in love

Oh you know me, everybody knows that I'm crazy

Sticks and stones, they never break me

And I'm the type that don't give a care
And that's just the half of it

You saw the half of it

Yeah this the life I live

And that's just the half of it

 

    Well, it certainly has not been my favorite year of my thirty years of life.  I can say with all my strength and being that I kept my head held high as often as I could and I did my best to make it through a very dark cloud of a year.  SO we are going to hit some highlights of the year in this post and then some of the darker days!!  I'm going to hit what i think was important!!

 

* Positive-  Shawn and I survived without killing each other!!LOL!!  Some may think that is a small feat but in reality it was not at all.  When your family dynamics are thrown into a tail spin it is hard to hold on to each other and learn to lean on each other.  We did and we are doing much better.  We had a few very rough spots and I was not sure we would survive, but we did.  I hope he knows how much he means to me...I am sure he does but in case he doesn't if you see him let him know how much I love him!!  :)  He does not read my blog!!

 

 

*Positive-   Braydon found strength in places I never thought he would.  He is a TRUE inspiration to me and I hope he never forgets that.                      

   

*Positive-  My family is still whole.  That is a huge deal!!  So many family's break up just because and we withstood a rough year. 

 

Sorry....But Damn I have a good looking family!!  ;)  You cant deny that!!LOL!!

 

Those are just a few of my positives.  There were many more, but those were the ones I wanted to share. 

 

 

My negative of the year was Braydon being diagnosed with Epilepsy.  I know to most of you it is no big deal, especially now that we have it so under control.  My heart Breaks every time he sees an airplane fly by and he says I will fly a plane one day.  I have explained and explained he wont but he wont give up on that dream.  Who knows maybe I'm the one who is wrong but at the end of the day no parent wants to see their child not be able to accomplish their dreams.  My heart breaks everyday at the things he will be told he cant do.  The mood swings from the meds, no sleepovers, the being made fun of....I mean the list goes on and on.....So for my 2013 goals....

 

 

*I will educate on Epilepsy on behalf of Braydon.  Education reduces ignorance on the subject which will help reduce the "making fun". 

* Properly prepare Braydon for the next years to come.  The Dr has told us the teenage years will be bad with hormones changing, his resistance to taking meds that make him feel funny, and the normal teenage years!!

*Remember that Claudia needs just as much attention.  I forgot that this year and I think she has been a little more difficult to deal with as a result. 

 

 

To be honest I'm afraid of what 2013 holds for us.  But I do know that no matter what i have the support of everyone.  You have all been my strength and I appreciate it more than you all will ever know!!

 

Wish us luck Braydon starts middle school this year!! LORDY  Middle School!!!

 Here are some pics from an "eventful" year!!

 

Happy New Year Everyone, May 2013 be everything you want it to be!!!



Who does not thank for little will not thank for much

Things I am Thankful For

 

1.  My Children!!  Wow do I have two AMAZING children!!  Strong and sweet, I'm very thankful for my children!

 

 

Really, I just can't any better than this!!


2.  My Husband-  WOW, Shawn is so amazing!!  I've always said I'm the luckiest woman in the world and I still believe it.  We definitely have our ups and downs but we always have each other.  He makes me smile even when I want to punch him!!  He works his butt off to make sure that we have what we have and it may not be as much as others, but it was honestly earned with two working hands!! 


3.  My Family-  I love my family!!  I have two sisters who I am so blessed to have, I can call either one of them with a problem or issue and they always come to my rescue with nothing more than an opinion.  My mommy is always there for me and helps me when I need it.  My mom knows how hard Shawn and I work and is always there to help when we need it.  Thank you Mom and Albert for always being there when we need it.  My In laws moved closer to help us as well!!  I am SOOO thankful for them.  They are always going to school events when we cant.  My extended family I don't always get to talk to or see I love you guys sooo much!!  I miss EVERYONE SO MUCH!!!

4.  My Friends-  I always talk about how much I love my friends and I can promise you it hasn't changed!!!  Love you guys!!


5.  MY JOB!!!!!!!   Man do I love my job, it is my second family!!  I enjoy going to work (most Days lol) and they are so understanding of my crazy life!!  When your bosses are your family and close friends then you are a very lucky person.  I also get to work with my best friends everyday!! I have the best job!!



This year has been very very hard on my family, however we still have so much to be thankful for!!  It could have been much worse and I remind myself of that everyday.  Thanks again to everyone for constantly supporting us!!  I love you all!!!

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Today I need every one's help!!  Listen to my story, share my story and see what we can do!!

 

 

 

I was approached by a woman at work the other day.  She has a friend that I do not know who has a child with epilepsy, among other things.  The little girl was approaching two years old.  On Sunday the little passed away from complications of her many problems.  That in itself is so very sad.  Before this little girl passed away the Build a Bear corporation made her a special bear that was purple, the national color for Epilepsy. 

 

 

Pretty amazing!!  Well the mother of the child would like Build a Bear to make a special purple bear for the month of November.  National Epilepsy awareness month, however Build a Bear does not believe that there would be enough interest.  Sooooo I'm asking all of you in honor of National Epilepsy awareness month to send Build a Bear a letter explaining why you would purchase one of those bears.

 

 

 

 

I would LOVE to be a part of something so awesome and would love for everyone to help!!  I want a build a bear!! 

 

 

So if you can help me here is the address

 

Build a Bear Workshop

1954 Interbelt Buisness Center Dr.

St. Louis, MO 63114

 

Let's get Braydon his very own Epilepsy Bear!!



Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything

Today was one of the scariest days of my life.  Today I could have lost a friend.  Not to a petty argument or over work, but to a car accident.  She managed to walk away after over correcting her truck, spinning in the middle of the road, flipping over a guard rail and having strangers help her by smashing in her windshield to get her out.  Things like this don't happen everyday.  Today was a miracle.  Today my best friend lived when every thing was against her, she walked away. 

 

 

This is no little thing, particularly to me.  This is a person who I'm sure even when she is ready to kill me is ALWAYS there for me.  She takes my kids to karate when I'm to sick to get off the couch.  She cleans my house when my life is pure chaos and I don't know which way to turn.  She takes my side when I'm upset with others and I'm sure I'm not always in the right. 

 

I'm one of few people that can say I have 3 best friends!!  Chelsie, Carlee, and Kelly!!   I love you all dearly and after today I want you all to know just how much!!  You are all my family!!  Please know that no matter what I will be there for all of you and today made me realize how quickly things can be taken away.  We are a team.....a crazy yell at each other and then be fine two seconds later, but a team non the less!! 

 

 

And to Chelsie....thanks for walking away from the accident today......you will never know how much you mean to me!!  Smile, know that you are loved by so many!!

Butterfly Fly Away

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

 

     Tomorrow my baby turns 11 and to be honest I have been so busy that I have not even really thought about it.  That is sad!!  I'm sad to think that I had to run out last minute tonight to order his cake for today!!  I'm now 100% focused on B, well at least until tomorrow at midnight!!! 


     We have been teasing him with his present!!! He cant wait to get it and I cant wait to give it to him!!!!

     The sleep study went well!!  Cant wait to get the results though!!  Ready to know what is going on at night!!  Poor kid his best night of sleep was strapped to wires and tubes!!!  We should know something in a few weeks. 

    Everyone sleep well tonight and if you see my B tomorrow tell him happy Birthday!  My baby is 11!!!!!