Wednesday, June 20, 2012
You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way
My precious cuties are about to leave for a few days to Gatlinburg with their Grandma to spend some time with their Aunt Laurie, Uncle Wayne and cousins. I am having a much harder time than I ever thought I would with this. My whole body is a bundle of nerves and I cant shake it.
This is not the first time they have gone away with out me, however it is since Braydon was diagnosed. So many thoughts are crossing my mind right now. I know that this is not a "burden" on anyone to have him go with them however I am not naive in the fact that this is an added stress. My wonderful sister is an AMAZING nurse and is very familiar with all his meds including his emergency meds which makes my stress seem silly, however it is still there.
Making sure he goes to bed early enough, that he is well hydrated, and not hungry seems easy enough however when there are 5 other children around and they are to busy to sleep, eat, and drink it tends to make life a little more difficult. My other issue is he will be 5 hours away.....which in an emergency will feel like a million. Hopefully and more likely than not there will be no emergency but I always seem to plague myself with the "what ifs" in life. I'm a planner and some things that surprise me can really throw me for a loop.
My problem really boils down to control. I, even though I don't act like a control freak, deep down I am. I know it and it is so hard to relinquish control and I know I need to be better about it. So how am I going to fix my nerves you may ask...Friends!!! I have friends who are going to keep me busy!! No matter how old, you always need friends. Dinner Saturday night and shopping Sunday what a better way to distract yourself right?
I was talking to the BFF Chelsie today and I asked her when I was venting all my irrational fears about this trip "What would I do if there was an emergency in Gatlinburg? Would I just jump in the Car and drive?" and her response was "yes WE would get in the car and go" not you would but WE would........meant the world to me.
Best part of all of this......Braydon has no clue I'm scared to death and is SOOOOO excited. Which makes all my crazy tension worth every second. Cant wait to get excited phone calls about all the cool things they did, who did what to who, and how exhausted he is. Guess this is just preparing me for camp in a few weeks!!!
Until next time guys!!!!!!!!!